Volume II, Treatise V, Chapter VII

Disorderly Affection for Relations Sometimes Disguises Itself, Under Pretexts of Duty and Piety; the Remedy to be Applied Thereto

THERE being no temptations more dangerous, than those that hide themselves under the veil of duty and piety, of which one is too great an affection for relations, St. Ignatius, to prevent the inconveniencies arising therefrom, ordains in his Constitutions, that we must exact from all those that would enter into the Society, a promise, that as often as they think themselves obliged to help their parents, they will not be guided by their own judgment, but by the decision of the superiors. For in the affairs of our relations, as well as of our own, we are ordinarily blinded by passion, and consequently cannot, in these cases, be good judges. Now the remedy assigned us by our holy founder, so far from giving rise to scruples on this head, entirely tranquillizes our conscience. For it obliges us to adhere to the opinion of the Society, which being so prudent, so enlightened, and filled with the fear of God, that it cannot fail to examine all things very well, and to decide according to conscience and truth. In the beginning, therefore, we propose to all who enter amongst us, whether they will be contented to submit themselves in this point, to the judgment of the Society; and if they refuse, we do not receive them; and it is a great favour of God, for which we ought to render him thanks, that hereby, we may rest content, and be in quiet of mind on this point, and have nothing to think of, but our salvation and spiritual advancement.

It is moreover to evade the illusions of flesh and blood, that the same saint ordains, that when we are about to distribute our goods amongst our poor relations, we ought to take counsel of two or three persons, whom we may make choice of, with the approbation of our superior; and who shall be judges of the poverty and necessity of our relations. So that how poor soever they may be, we cannot dispose of our goods in their behalf, but by the advice of others; though we are left entirely at liberty to dispose of what we have to strangers without consulting any one. And he ordains this, lest the natural affection we have for our relations, should deceive us. St. Gregory, speaking of the person whom our Saviour would not permit to go to bury his father, takes notice, that what he would not have forbidden him to do to a stranger, but would rather have counselled as a work of mercy, he forbids him to do in regard of his father; to teach us, says the holy doctor, that even such charities as our duty requires of us towards strangers, ought not to he practised towards our relations; because the natural tenderness we have for them, is subject to a great many illusions; and because it is not of edification, to see a disciple of Jesus Christ, encumber himself with the interest of flesh and blood. In effect, it is very certain that, we take to heart the concerns of our relations after another manner than we do those of strangers; these leave our mind in an entire tranquillity; whereas those rob us of the peace of our soul, and trouble us in our spiritual exercises. And hence when we are about to succour our family, it is far better that it be done by another religious, than by ourselves; and this is the advice of St. Basil, and what our roles also prescribe. For if this trust is reposed in us, unless we be detached from the ties of flesh and blood, we will always desire that our family be rich, and at their ease; though God, perhaps, would have them remain in poverty and sufferings, thereby to humble them and to save their souls. Nay more, vanity has so far got possession of certain religious, that they avail themselves of the influence, which their habit gives them over the great ones in the world, in order to raise their relations to places of honour, which they themselves never had the idea or the means of attaining. And in this they shew themselves to have nothing but the name and habit of religious; for instead of being, as they ought to be, more humble than those in the world are, they are more puffed up with presumption and vanity.

And since it happens but too often, that many quit religion, as they pretend, to assist their parents in the world, it is good to observe here, that ordinarily speaking, this is not the motive which urges them, and renders them unfaithful to their vocation. No! it ia their spirit of immortification, their want of fervour and courage to support the holy austerities of their rule, and other hidden causes, they are not ignorant of, which make them quit their religious profession; but because they dare not allege the true motives, they have recourse to specious pretexts. Be this as it may, we daily perceive, that such persons as these, after going out, become rather a charge and burden than a help to their parents; and that ordinarily they have not the power, nor do they make any effort to assist them. They did not leave religion, therefore, through this motive; for in religion, they could help their parents better than out of it. No! but it was their spirit of pride, of indocility, and a wish to live according to their own will and pleasure, that induced them to return to the world! They may deceive men, but they cannot deceive God! and wo to him, who begins to stagger on this point; and who does not abide by the decision of his rule and superiors!

Whosoever therefore would attain the end, he ought to propose to himself in his entrance into religion, must renounce all commerce with his relations, and entirely disengage himself from the care of their concerns. ‘For those who have said to their father and mother, I know you not; and to their brethren, I have not acquaintance with you; and who are ignorant of their children, these are they, O Lord, who have kept thy commandments, and have faithfully kept their league with thee.” (Deuteronomy 33:9) A true religious, says St. Bernard, ought to be like another Melchisedech, of whom the apostle speaking, says, he had neither father nor mother, nor even birth, not but he had so in effect, because he was a man; but the scripture speaking of him in that place, considers him only as a priest, and makes no mention of his genealogy, nay not so much as of his birth, or of his death; to teach us, says the saint, that the priests of our Lord, but principally religious, ought to have no tie or relation to flesh and blood, but to be so employed in spiritual things, as if they descended from heaven; and lastly, they ought to be Melchisedechs in their hearts, that is to say, they ought entirely to cast off, whatsoever may in the least, hinder their progress towards God.

Let us conclude, and say with St. Bernard, “remain in solitude like a turtle. Let there be no tie between the world and thee, no commerce between thee and men, forget thy country and thy father’s house, and the King will be enamoured with thy beauty.” (Psalms 44:11) St. Jerom therefore, upon theseé words of the prophet, had reason to say it was a great recompense indeed; nor can there be a greater, than that which is annexed to the forgetfulness of one’s father; because thereby one becomes the object of the love of the King of kings.

It is related in the Chronicles of St. Francis, that a doctor of Sorbonne having taken the habit of the order, his mother, who had spent what she had, in maintaining him in his studies, and now found herself reduced to extreme poverty, presently ran to the convent, all bathed in tears. She cries and sobs in her son’s presence, opens her breasts, and conjures him by those he had sucked, and by the pains she had taken to educate him, that he would not now forsake her in her misery. She at last moved him so far, that he resolved the next day to quit the order. However, finding great combats hereupon within his soul, he betook himself to prayer; and as soon as his mother was gone, prostrating himself before a crucifix, his heart being heavily oppressed with sorrow, he cried out, O Lord! I will never leave thee, permit not that this should ever happen; I will only assist my mother in her extreme necessity. He had no sooner pronounced these words, having his eyes fixed on the crucifix, than he perceived blood running from it, and heard a voice that said to him, “hast thou not cost me more than thy mother, since I have redeemed thee with my own precious blood? Wherefore then wilt thou leave me for her? Which words and vision so touched his heart, that preferring Jesus Christ to that natural tenderness and compassion he had for his mother, he continued to serve him in that order, in which he faithfully persevered to his death.

Though what I have said in this treatise, regards religious only; yet if it should dissuade secular persons from engaging religious in worldly affairs; and from soliciting places of trust, and change of abode for such religious as are related to them, it will be a great advantage both to the one and the other.

About ReligiousBookshelf.com · A Supernerd Media project