Volume II, Treatise V, Chapter VI

Other Evils, Occasioned by Our Too Great Affection for Our Relations.— Jesus Christ Himself Warns Us Hereof

St. Bast, says, that this irregular affection sometimes causes religious even to commit sacrilege, making them steal the goods of their order, to succour their relations in want: and if they do not directly take what belongs to their order to help them, they at least ‘convert to their own use what charitable persons had designed for the order. They take from their penitents, what they can get; and this with very great prejudice to the ministry they exercise. For how can they perform their duty, with such entire liberty as they ought, towards those persons whose assistance they stand in need ‘of; and to whom they have these obligations? Must not they have scruples about the vow of poverty? Will it be easy to discern, whether it is to you, or to another, the present is made; and whether it is you, who in reality afterwards give it, or whether another gives it by your hand? But the worst is, that this inconsiderate tenderness we have for our relations, does sometimes so prepossess us, that we scarce take notice of these things; but look upon them as permitted, which indeed they are not, we imagine we do nothing against the vow of poverty, even when we directly violate it. But should a religious rob his order of nothing else, than the time he employs in the affairs of his family, this alone were a robbery of very great importance. For, says St. Basil, you are no longer your own master; you belong to your order, to which you have entirely given yourself, and which for this reason, is charged no less with your body than your soul, and takes care of the one as well as of the other. But if you employ your time in the service of your relations, besides the scandal you give those who see you thus tied in affection to things of the world; is not this to steal time from your order, which nourishes you, and furnishes you with all things necessary for your subsistence?

“If any one comes to me,” says our Saviour, “and hates not his father, mother, wife, children, brothers, sisters; yea, and his own soul, he cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:26) And St. Gregory observes on this passage, that God no less recommends to us the hatred of our parents, than the hatred of ourselves. Hence, as we have no greater enemy than ourselves, we are in consequence obliged to hate ourselves, and make ourselves feel the effects thereof, by mortifying our senses, and continually opposing the irregular desires and inclinations of flesh and blood; even so we ought to have a holy hatred of our parents, and shew them no condescension at all in those things, that may be an obstacle to our salvation, and to our advancement in perfection. Because our parents are a part of ourselves, and consequently our enemies, as well as we ourselves are, according to the words of the Scripture, “the enemies of man are his domestics, or those of the same house and family.”—( (Micheas 7:6)

It } related in the Chronicles of St. Francis, that a secular person, telling brother Giles that he would absolutely become a religious; the servant of God answered him, if you have truly a mind to be so, go kill all your relations. This man, astonished at this answer, began to weep, and begged that he would not oblige him to commit such enormous crimes as these were; whereupon the brother reproached him, for not rightly understanding him; I do not bid you, says he, to go and really cut the throats of your relations, but that you go, and endeavour to destroy the affection you have for them in your heart, by absolutely casting it away; because Jesus Christ teaches us, that ‘ he who hates not his parents, cannot be his disciples.”

It is our duty to remark how often this doctrine is repeated in the gospel. At one time our Saviour answers him who wished to follow him, and who asked his leave, first to dispose of what he had, “whoever puts his hand to the plough and looks back, is not fit for the kingdom of heaven.”——-(Luke 9:62) At another time he tells him whom he commanded to follow him, but who begged leave first to go bury his father: “let the dead bury their dead; but go thou and announce the kingdom of heaven;” (Luke 9:60)

what fear ought not this first answer give those who look back; that is; those who embroil themselves in worldly business, after having begun to follow the evangelical counsels? Ought they not fear, lest God will reject them as unfit for his kingdom? And, as Theophilact says, upon the second example, “if that man were not permitted to bury his father, wo to those who having embraced a religious life, return to the affairs of the world, which they have quitted!”

But it was not only words, and the example of others, that Jesus taught us to live in an entire detachment from our relations. No! he deigned to teach us by his own example also; as is evident from many passages in holy writ, where we see that he shews even externally, severity and coldness to his most holy Mother; “why did you ask after me?” says he, when she found him in the temple. “‘ Know you not that I ought to go about my Father’s business?’ (Luke 2:49) And again, at the marriage of Cana, she tells him that there was no wine left: “Woman,” replied he, “what is that to thee and me?” (John 2:4) Whereby, says St. Bernard, he teaches us how we ought to behave to our relations, when they would divert us from the duties of our religious profession; on these occasions, as he did, we should say to them; I ought to employ ‘myself only in the business of my Father; I ought to labour only for my salvation. Does not this also appear to be a very cold answer which he made the person who said, “master desire my brother divide the inheritance with me: man,” replies he, ‘“who has appointed me thy judge, to make this division between you?” (Luke 12:14) And does not this teach us, that a religious cannot be too cautious, in avoiding to meddle with worldly business, which it not at all his profession?

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