Volume II, Treatise III, Chapter IX

Of the Advantages Found in the Exercise of Self-knowledge

To excite us more and more in the exercise of the knowledge of

ourselves, I shall here speak of some considerable advantages which

are found therein. I have already touched upon a very important

one, which is, that this knowledge of ourselves is the basis and foundation of humility, and the necessary means to acquire and preserve it. An ancient father of the desert was asked, how true humility was to be acquired? He replied, “by reflecting upon one’s own faults only, and not looking upon those of another.” It is by this self-knowledge, that true humility is acquired¢ it is by sounding ourselves, that it is found; and this alone ought.to suffice to make us apply ourselves to this exercise; because it is so much our interest to acquire humility.

But the holy writers proceed farther, and say, that the hamble sense and knowledge of ourselves, is a more certain way to arrive at the knowledge of God, than the most profound study of all other sciences; and the reason which St. Bernard gives for it, is, that this science being more sublime than any other, leads us. also straighter to God. St. Bonaventure says; it is this which the Saviour of the world would have us understand by the curing of the man who was born blind, when rubbing his eyes with a little dirt, he gave him at the same time both the sight of the body to see himself, and that of the soul to know and adoreGod. “It isthus,” continues he, ‘that as we are born blind, and ignorant of God and ourselves, the Lord enlightens us by rubbing our eyes with the clay of which we are composed, that we may begin first to know ourselves, and then adore with a lively faith him from whom we have received light.”—(Proc. v. Rel. c. xviii.) It is this also which the church teaches us in the ceremony which it practises at the beginning of Lent, of putting ashes on our foreheads, saying ‘“re- Member, O man, that thou art dust, and shalt return again to dust.” (Genesis 3:19) For she thus sets before our eyes what we are, that by the knowledge of ourselves, we may come to know God, to repent for having offended him, and to do penance for our sins. So that self-knowledge is a means to come to the knowledge of God, and the more a creature shall consider the dust he is originally made of, the more will he know the greatness and elevation of God, according to the axiom, “that nothing gives us a better knowledge of things that are opposite to one another, than to place them by one another.” White never appears, and shines more, than when it is placed near black. Now, man is every thing that is low, and God everything that is elevated—these are contraries; and therefore the more man knows himself and understands that he is nothing of himself, but misery and sin, the more sensibly he feels what the goodness and mercy of God is, to love a thing so vile and despicable as man.

\ - But what consideration still further produces, is, that the soul by this means is inflamed more and more with the love of God, not being able to cease from giving him thanks for so many benefits, which he bestows on so miserable a creature; nor from wondering that men having so much difficulty in bearing one with another, God should not only have the goodness to bear with them, but that he should himself say, “that it is his delight to be and converse with the sons of men.” (Proverbs 8:31) Hence the Psalmist could not forbear to cry out with admiration:—“What is man that thou shouldst be mindful of him? Or the son of man that thou shouldst visit him?”—(Psal. viii. 5.) For this reason it is, the saints study to know themselves, that thereby they might come to a greater knowledge and love of God. It is for the same reason St. Austin was wont to say:—“O my God, who art always the same, let me know myself, and I shall know thee!”—(Lib. de vita beata.) Itis this made St. Francis cry out night and day; “who art thou, my God, and who am I?” And lastly, it is by this means that so many saints have attained so great a knowledge of God. This, therefore, is an infallible way; because the more you humble yourself in the knowledge of yourself, the more will you be exalted in the knowledge of,God, and the more you increase in knowing God, the more you will advance in self-knowledge; because the heavenly light pierces into the most secret and hidden corners of the heart, and makes us find out subjects of confusion, even in such things as appear best in the eyes of the world. St. Bonaventure says, that as when the rays of the sun enter into a chamber, we immediately discover a thousand atoms, which we saw not before; so when our heart is touched with the rays of divine grace, the soul perceives even the least imperfections, and sees a thousand faults, m those things, which seem perfect to such as are not enlightened with so bright and piercing a light as this.

This is therefore the cause why the saints are so humble, and have so low an opinion of themselves, and that as they increase in sanctity, they increase in humility, and in a contempt of themselves. The more God enlightens them, and communicates himself to them, the more they perceive that they have of their own only nothingness and sin; and the more defects this self-knowledge makes them discover in themselves, the more they believe there are still to be discovered; and that they see but the least part of them. © In fine, as they are persuaded, that the goodness of God exceeds all the knowledge they have of it, so they are also convinced, that their own wickedness far surpasses all the knowledge they have thereof. For as whatever knowledge we have of God, we can never comprehend him, but there always is something in him to be more and more known and admired; so whatever knowledge and contempt we may have of ourselves, there also remains something more to be despised, and therefore we can never know fully the excess of our misery. This is no exaggeration, it is a plain truth; because it being certain, that man is of himself but nothing and sin, it is consequently certain, that he can never humble himself so much as these two qualities require. —

We read that a holy woman begged of God the grace to know herself, and having obtained it, she had so much horror of her deformity and misery, that unable to bear longer the sight thereof, she prayed again, that he would hide some part of it from her, lest she should be too much dejected. Father Avila tells us also, that he knew a certain person, who had often made a similar request of God, and that God having one day opened his eyes, to let him see his misery; he was struck thereupon with so much horror, that he cried out,—take away, O Lord, for thy mercies’ sake, this looking-glass from before me; I am not able to bear any longer the sight of so abominable an object.

This is the cause also, why there arises in the servants of God, that holy hatred and horror of themselves, of which we have already spoken elsewhere. For looking upon themselves as enemies of God, the more they come to know his goodness, and to love him, the greater aversion they have for themselves, according to the words of Job:—“thou hast set me opposite to thee, so that I am become a burden to myself.” (Job 7:20) They see that they have in themselves the root of all sorts of evil, which is the corrupt inclination of the flesh, and the knowledge of all this makes them rise up and revolt against themselves. Is it not just, then, to abhor him who has made you quit so great a good as God himself is, and that for a pleasure of so short duration? Is it not just to hate him who has made you deserve hell, and put you in hazard of losing glory, and that for ever. Him who, in fine, has been the cause of so much evil to you, and will be so continually to you. Now, it is you yourself, who are an enemy to God, and to yourself, an enemy ( to your own good and to your eternal salvation.

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