Volume II, Treatise III, Chapter XXXIV

How Just and Holy Men, May with Truth Look Upon Themselves, as the - Worst and Last of Men; and Style Themselves the Greatest Sinners In: the World. |

Havine shewn that we ought to try to arrive so far, as to reckon. ourselves the least of all, and to look upon ourselves as the greatest: sinners in the world; it will not be a vain curiosity, but a very profitable inquiry, to explain how the greatest saints, could truly have: such thoughts of themselves as these. Some of them being content to have these thoughts in their heart, were unwilling to answer’ questions put them on this subject—and thus the holy Abbot Zosimus expressed himself before a certain philosopher, saying, ‘ he-believed himself the greatest sinner in the world;” and being. asked by him, “how he could have so bad an opinion of himself, | since he knew very well that he observed God’s commands?” ‘ All that I can tell you,” answered he, “is that I know that I speak truth, and that Iam very sensible of what I say; ask me therefore no more.” But St. Austin, St. Thomas, and several other saints answer the question, and solve it differently. St. Austin’s and St.. Thomas’s solution thereof, is that when a man looks upon his own’ faults and considers, at the same time, the hidden favours, which God does, or can do his neighbour, he may then with truth say of himself, that he is the greatest of sinners; because he is acquainted. ‘with his own faults, but knows not the secret gifts which his brother has received of God. But you will say, I see him, every. day, commit such and such sins and imperfections, which I commit not! And how know you what God may have wrought in his. heart even since the last moment? How know you, but in that instant he may have conferred upon some particular grace, whereby he may become more righteous than you? The Pharisee and the Publican entered at the same time into the temple to pray, The Pharisee looked upon himself as righteous, and the publican on himself as a sinner; our Saviour, nevertheless, says, “that the last went down to his house justified, and the Pharisee departed out of the temple with his own condemnation.” —( (Luke 18:14)) This example ought ‘to suffice for our instruction, never to prefer, nor ‘even to equal ourselves to: any one; but to keep still in the last place, which is the only one where we may with security put ourselves.

To him that is truly humble, it is easy to look upon himself as the least of all. For, i in his brethren he sees nothing but what is good, and nothing in himself but his own faults; and he is so taken up in considering, and seeking how to amend them, that

‘believing he has cause enough to weep for them, he never looks up, to behold what is amiss in others; and for that reason, he has a good

opinion of all his brethren, and an ill one of himself alone; nay, the more he increases in sanctity, the more easy he finds it, to

‘humble himself in this manner; ‘not only because, as he makes proficiency in other virtues, he does so in humility, and in the knowledge.of himself, and comes thereby to have a greater contempt of himself; ‘but, also because the more sensible heis of the goodness and mercy ‘of God, the more acquainted he is with his own misery; and thus, “one abyss carrying him into another;” (Psalms 41:8), from the abyss -of the greatness of God, into that of his own nothingness; he sees by the light of grace, into the very least of his own imperfections. Now, if we set any value upon ourselves, the reason is, because we -have little knowledge of God, and are not illuminated with light from heaven; the rays of the sun of justice have not yet penetrated into our soul, and so far are we from being able to discover the least atoms of dust, which are our small faults, that we become so blind as not to discern the greatest imperfections.

To this may be added, that humility is so agreeable to God, that the better to preserve it in the heart of his servants, he often so:conceals the favours which he confers upon them, and so secretly imparts his gifts to them, that even he who receives them, perceives ‘them not; nor believes he has received anything. “All the beauty ‘of the tabernacle,” says St. Jerom, “was covered with the skins of beasts and goat’s hair;” and thus it is, that God is sometimes wont.to hide under temptations, the excellency of his gifts and benefits, -and to suffer even some small faults in his servants, that so humility may be preserved in them, as coals are kept alive under ashes.

St. John Climachus says, that the devil, who seeks nothing but our destruction, endeavours to set continually our virtues and good actions before our eyes, that so he may make us proud; and that God, on the contrary, who desires only our salvation, gives particular ‘light to his elect, to make them perceive even the least of their imperfections; and hides the favours he bestows upon them in such manner, that often they perceive not when they receive them. All holy writers teach the same doctrine; and St. Bernard says, “that it is by a particular diposition of the divine goodness, which is pleased to keep us humble, that the greater progress one ordinarily makes in perfection, the less he thinks he has made; for when any one is arrived at the highest degree of virtue, God permits that something of the perfection of the lowest should yet remain to be acquired, that he may not think he is advanced so far as he is.’””— (De quat. mod. oran.) Thus the comparison, which is made between humility and the sun, is a very just one; for as the stars disappear, and hide themselves before the sun, so when humility shines truly in souls, all other virtues hide themselves before it in such manner, that they who are humble indeed, seem to themselves to have no virtue at all. ‘They are the only persons,’ says St. Gregory, ~“who see not in themselves the exemplary virtues which all the world admires.”—(Lib. xxii. Mor. ca. 5.) When Moses came down from mount Sinai, where he had forty days conversed with God face to face, “his countenance shone so bright, that all the children of Israel,” says the scripture, “beheld it, and he alone knew not that his face was shining, because of the conversation he had had with the Lord.” (Exodus 34:29) So it is with the humble man; he alone sees not his own virtues; and whatever he does see in himself, appears full of imperfections; nay, he even thinks, that he.sees but the least part of his faults; and that those which he sees - not, are much more numerous; and thus can he easily look upon himself as the least of all his brethren, and believes that he alone is the greatest sinner in the world.

True it is, that though God leads many saints, in this way, which we have shewn, by hiding from them the favours he confers on thém; yet the means he makes use of, for the conduct of his elect are different; for he sometimes discovers his gifts to those upon whom he bestows them; that hereby they may esteem and acknowledge them as much as they ought to do. St. Paul therefore said, “but -we have not received the spirit of the world, but the spirit which is of God, that we might know the things which are given to us by God.” (1 Corinthians 2:12) And does not the holy Virgin, in her spiritual song, say, “that she magnifies the Lord; because the Almighty had done great things to her.” (Luke 1:49) This knowledge is so far from being contrary to humility and perfection; that it is even accompanied with so perfect a humility, that for that reason, it is called the humility of the perfect.

In this, notwithstanding, there is so great danger of abuse, that holy writers warn us to beware thereof; the abuse is, that sometimes one thinks he is more enriched with the favours of God, than he really is. Witness that unfortunate man to whom the Lord directs these words of the Apocalyse: “‘ Thou sayest, Iam rich, and abound with all things, and have need of nothing, and knowest thou not, that thou art miserable, poor, blind, and naked?””—( (Apocalypse 3:17)) In the same error was the Pharisee in the gospel, “who gave God thanks, that he was not as other men;” (Luke 18:11), he thought that he had great advantages above them, which he had not; and preferred himself to them, for that very reason. Now this sort of pride, sometimes creeps so secretly into our heart, that we are often full of ourselves, without perceiving it; wherefore it

.is good to have our eyes always open upon the virtues of others, and shut upon our own; and to live thus in this holy fear, will with more security, preserve the gifts of God in us.

As God, nevertheless, has not obliged himself, to conduct every one by this way, but leads his elect by several paths; so it now and then happens, that he does the favour to some, which he did to St. Paul, to make them know the greatness of those gifts which they have received from him. Now this being so, how can it hap-

pen, it may be said, that they who see the divine favours heaped upon them, can truly believe themselves the least of all men; and assert, that they are the greatest sinners in the world? That he indeed from whom God hides the gifts which he confers on him, and who finds no virtue in himself, but a great many imperfections and defects, should have these thoughts of himself, is not difficult to conceive; but that they, who know to what a height God has raised them, should have the like thoughts, is very hard to comprehend.—Yet all this may very well be. Wherefore be but as humble St. Francis, and you will quickly conceive it. When he was one day pressed by his companion, to tell him, how he could have so low an opinion, and speak of himself as he did?—I am, said the saint, fully convinced, that had the greatest sinner received the same favours that I have, he would have made better use of them than I have done; and on the contrary, I firmly. believe, that did God withdraw his hand from me but one moment, I should fall into the most extravagant enormities in the world, and be the,worst of men; therefore do I look upon myself as the greatest and most ungrateful of all sinners. This answer is very just, and flows from a great stock of humility, and at the same time contains admirable doctrine. For it is thoughts of this kind, moved the saints -to humble themselves, and to stoop to the very centre of the earth; and made them fall down at every one’s feet, and truly reckon themselves the greatest sinners. The knowledge of our own weakness, which is the root of humility, was so fixed in their hearts, that they easily distinguished, what they were in themselves, from what they were by grace; wherefore considering, that if God left them but ‘one moment, they might have grown the greatest sinners, they always looked upon themselves as such; and upon the gifts of God, as borrowed favours, which, instead of making them less humble, did, on the contrary, inspire them with a more profound sense thereof. Because they always thought, that they made not that use they ought, of the benefits they had received; so that on whatever side we turn our eyes, whether we cast them down, upon what we have of ourselves; or lift them up to behold what we have received from God, we shall always find occasion, to humble and esteem ourselves less than all others. _- St. Gregory, upon this occasion, lays great weight upon the words of David, when it being in his power to kill Saul in the cave into which he was entered, and letting him go out of it again without intending him any harm, he cried to him from afar: “whom pursuest thou, O king of Israel?—thou pursuest a dead dog and a flea.”.—-(1 Kings 24:15) David, says this saint, was already anointed king, and had been informed by Samuel, who had anointed him, that God intended to take the kingdom from Saul, to confer it upon him; he nevertheless humbles himself, and bows to him, though he knew, that even by the choice of God, he was preferred to him; and was more acceptable than he, in the sight of the most High. This shews us very well, that we ought, with much more reason, to place ourselves beneath our brethren; because we know not in, what degree of esteem they are in God’s sight.

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