Volume II, Treatise II, Chapter VIII

What Is to be Observed in Speaking

‘S LorD, put a guard upon my mouth, and shut up my lips with a door,” (Ps. exl. 3), says the royal prophet. St. Gregory and St. Ambrose, speaking of the great inconveniences which are caused by the tongue, and prescribing silence as the best way to avoid them, start this objection:—alas! are we then to remain dumb? They answer, by no means; since the virtue of silence does not consist in not speaking; but in speaking when we ought to speak, and in being silent when we ought to be silent; just as the virtue of temperance consists not in a continual fast, but in eating what is necessary, and when it is necessary, and in abstaining from everything else. ‘‘ There is a time to speak and a time to be silent; (Ecclesiastes 3:7); but to do both well, requires a great deal of prudence; since unseasonable silence is as improper as ill-timed speaking. We are taught how to behave ourselves in both occasions, by the words above cited; ‘ Lord, put a guard upon my mouth, and shut up my lips with a door.” David, says St. Gregory, did not ask of God, that he would wall up his mouth, or shut it so, that he should never be able to open it; but only desired that it might be so secured, that he might always have the liberty and free use of it, as necessity should require; to inform us that the virtue of silence consists no less in speaking, than in holding our peace when necessity requires either the one or the other. Solomon, following his royal father’s steps, begs the same favour in these words, “who will give a guard to my mouth and set the seal of prudence upon my lips, that I may never offend by them, nor be ruined by my tongue?? (Ecclesiasticus 22:33) So difficult is it to speak seasonably and to the purpose, that Solomon, the wisest of men, petitions heaven, that he might‘be able to discern the ‘proper time, both of speaking and of being silent. For in speaking, the omission of a single circumstance constitutes a fault; there being this difference between good and evil, that in order to constitute a good action, all the requisite conditions must concur at the same time; but to render an action bad, a single defect is sufficient..

Now let us come to these circumstances that are indispensably required to speak well: they are handed down to us by St. Basil, St. Ambrose St. Bernard, and many other holy men. The first and chief is to consider very well beforehand what we are to say. This lesson is taught us by nature itself, which has so ordered that our ears should be always open, and ready to receive every sound, but has wisely placed our lips and teeth as a double barrier for the defence of our tongue. By this means she teaches us to be forward and ready in hearing, but very moderate and reserved in speaking, according to what St. James prescribes, “let every one be quick to hear but slow to speak.” (James 1:19) The anatomy and structure of the tongue teaches us the same thing; it has two veins or branches in it, one of which goes to the heart, the source of all our passions, the other mounts to the brain, the seat of reason, in order to show us that our words should come from the heart, and be regulated by reason. St. Austin made the same remark, when he advised us, “to call our words to the test before we speak them;” that reason might first correct and polish our thoughts, before they come to the tongue. It is in this that the scripture places the difference between wise men and: fools, when it says,- “the heart of a fool is in his mouth, but the mouth of a wise man is in his heart.”—-(Ecclesiasticus 21:29) Because the heart of a fool suffers itself to be carried away with the violence of his tongue, and permits it to vent whatsoever occurs, acting hereby as if the tongue and heart were only one member. When, on the contrary, the wise man has his mouth in his heart, because all he says has first been seriously considered, and found conformable to reason, he makes his tongue depend upon his heart for every word it speaks.

St. Cyprian says, that as a temperate man does not swallow his meat before he has chewed It well, so a prudent man never utters any thing which he has not beforehand nicely weighed in his heart, knowing that rash and inconsiderate language is often the occasion of quarrel and dissension. Another saint advises us to be as long in bringing a word out of our mouths, as we are in taking money out of our purse to discharge a debt. How slow and dull are we in opening our purse? How often do we consider whether the debt be due, and how much money it comes to? Use the same caution in opening your mouth, says the same saint.. Consider first whether you ought to speak at all, and then in what manner; and be sure to overshoot yourself no more in speaking, than you would do, in paying more than is due to your creditor. St. Bonaventure also counsels us to become misers in our words, and to part with them as warily as they do with their money.

St. Bernard in this, is more rigorous than St. Austin, who only required that every word should be once examined before it was spoken; but he will have it ‘be called twice to the test of a serious examen, before it comes to the tongue to be uttered.”—(In spec. Monach.) St. Bonaventure’s sentiment is the same; and the abbot Amon, as St. Ephrem tells us, was of opinion, that we should first communicate our thoughts to God, and tell him what we would say, and what reasons we designed to make use of in our discourse, which having done we might then venture to speak, and by 30 doing believe we put God’s will in execution, having consulted him beforehand. Here you see the first circumstance of speaking well clearly laid down; which, if you observe well, you will succeed in all the rest.

The second circumstance recommended to us, is the end and intent of speaking. For it is not sufficient to discourse of what is proper and good in itself, but the design and intent of our discourse ought equally to be good and virtuous, There are several that talk like saints, but.it is only to deceive their auditors, and make them think them devout or able men; whereas they manifest their folly by the one, and disguise their hypocrisy by the other.

Saint Basil points out the third circumstance; which is to cone. sider the person that speaks, the person spoken to, and the company in whose presence we speak. In pursuance of this rule, the saint gives a great many good documents, in order to instruct young people how they ought to behave themselves before aged persons; and to show those in orders how they should behave before priests; alleging these words of scripture, “do not speak much in the presence of priests and elders.” —(Kccl. vii. 15.). Youth, says St. -Bernard, shows its submission, deference, and veneration to old age by silence; that being the greatest testimony of the honour and respect they pay it. St. Bonaventure renders this still clearer by the following comparison; the fear of God, says he, makes us appear with modesty and respect in his presence, and brings us into favour with him; even so venerable old age commands duty and veneration from us, and even obliges us to respectful silence, and a modest behaviour.

The proper time of speaking, is the fourth circumstance, recommended to us by St. Ambrose, as the chief part of prudence. ‘The wise man,” says Ecclesiasticus, “will not speak but in due time, but the impudent and imprudent observe no order or method in their words.” (Ecclesiasticus 20:7) To make us the more observant of this circumstance, the holy scripture give this high commendation of those that use it, a5 a word i in season is like a golden apple upon a bed of silver.’ (Proverbs 25:11)°) Where this caution is not used, confusion follows, and the best things lose their value and become disagreeable; for according to the wise man, “a parable never comes well, or has any force out of the mouth of a fool; because he pronounces it not in due season.” (Ecclesiasticus 20:22) This cireumstance requires of us never to interrupt another’s discourse; it being not only against the rules of common civility, but even of Christianity. “Interrupt not another whilst he is speaking,” (Ecclesiastes 11:8), says Ecclesiasticus, ‘ have patience till he has done and then speak in your turn;” and the wise man gives us still another instruction, when he says “he that answers before he understands what is said to him, shows himself a fool, and deserves to be confounded.” (Proverbs 18:18) He answers to he knows not what, and therefore meets with confusion corresponding to his folly. He imagines them to say what they never thought of, which makes his answer impertinent, and though he designed to show his quickness of apprehension, yet instead thereof he discovers his own extravagance. St. Basil gives us very good counsel upon this point, and advises us to be silent when a question is asked another; nay, suppose that we be engaged in company, and some one starts a question to all in general, we must never take it as addressed to us in particular, nor presume to be the first in anawering. Humility forbids so great an arrogance, as to look upon yourself as the best man in the company. It is better to be silent till your opinion be asked in particular, and then offer what prudence shall suggest. The tone or manner of speaking, is the fifth circumstance. This is prescribed us by our holy rule, when it ordains us to speak m that low voice which becomes a religious. This is not only a very material circumstance, but is one of the chief parts of silence; wherefore the gospel takes particular notice of the manner of Martha’s addressing herself to her sister, upon the coming of our Saviour to raise Lazarus. The text says, “she called her sister Mary in silence, and told her that their master was come, and asked for her.” (John 11:28) How could she do this in silence, says St. Austin, on this place, when she expressly said, ‘our master is come, and asks for you?” Yes, she did it, says the saint, and in silence; because she spoke softly and in a low voice. The same happens among religious, who though they be together at work, and speak to one another, yet there is no breach of silence amongst them, so long as they speak in a low voice. Whereas should they change their tone and talk aloud, let their necessity be ever so great, it would not excuse them from a breach of silence; so necessary is it upon all occasions, and in all places to speak softly, and to observe a decorum in our words, that we may appear true religious, and make our house appear so too. St. Bonaventure esteems it a great fault for a religious to speak loud, and would have us speak so as to make those only hear us who are close by us. Ifany thing presses you to speak to one that is at a distance, go to him, it being an injury to religious modesty, to speak at a distance, or to call out aloud. The same saint bids us also speak more softly than ordinary, when it is night, or when we are retired to go to rest, for fear of disturbing others, which caution is also to be used in the sacristy, refectory, chapter-house, and other places of respect and silence. An engaging behaviour, anda pleasant and serene countenance, are also reduced by St. Bonaventure to this circumstance. We must not put on a dark and austere look, wry mouths, rolling and staring eyes, and the contraction of our nose and eye-brows must be avoided; we must not shake our head, or use any other light of unbecoming gesture. This is what our holy founder commands, in those admirable rules which he wroteon modesty. As-to our voice, St. Ambrose, “would have it even, and of an equal and constant tone, without any languishing stops or interruptions, free from all affectation and effeminacy, but grave and masculine as becomes a man, yet at the same time so governed, as neither to appear harsh nor rude.”—(Lib. i. Off.c. 19.) And St. Bernard is of the same opinion, when he says that, “as a whining and effeminate voice or gestures are not to be used, so such as are clownish and unmannerly are equally to be avoided.”—(De. ord. Vit. et Mor.) A religious ought in all his words, to aim at a happy composition of sweetness and gravity, but most of all when he reprehends another, otherwise his words will gain no credit, and all his labour will be lost. Nay, St. Bonaventure does not stick to say, that he who discovers the passion of anger in correcting another, shows that he is more ready to afflict than charitably to help the party. “Vice can never teach us virtue,’’ impatience cannot instruct us how to suffer patiently, and pride can never teach humility. Whereas, patience and mildness would at once both have edified and prevailed upon the offender, far beyond the best discourse in which the least heat appears. The following excellent sentence of St. Ambrose suits our purpose very well:— ‘Tell a man,” says he, “his fault, but do not upbraid him, advise him so, that he may perceive his error, without his receiving the least offence; which is confirmed by what St. Paul advises Timothy—“In your corrections,” says he, “be mild and gentle, treat old men as your fathers, young men as your brethren; aged women as your mothers, and young ones as your sisters.” (1 Timothy 5:1)

An affected style, by which a man would be thought learned or eloquent, is extremely improper; and without doubt, those preachers who make it their study to be masters of a quaint and elegant style, are censurable. Their diligence in seeking after proper terms, makes them neglect their matter. Their words are empty, they want the force and energy of the Holy Ghost, and produce not the fruit that might be expected from sermons. Water that is good has no taste; in like manner, good language should never relish of affectation.

To conclude, there are so many circumstances to be observed, so many conditions requisite to speak well, that it would be a wonder not to fail in some of them. For this reason, silence is the securest harbour we can put into. It protects us from all the inconveniences and dangers to which our words expose us. “He who is cautious and careful in his words, frees his soul from many afflictions,” (Proverbs 21:23), says the wise man. And an ancient father assures us, that, ‘ wheresoever we live, if we keep silence and are sparing of our words, we shall live in peace.” Seneca also says to his friend in one of his epistles, that “there was nothing more profitable than to be retired, and to converse little with others, but much with one’s self.” —( Ep. civ.) All applaud that frequent saying of Arsenius, “I have often repented to have spoken, but never to have held my peace.” The same is related of Socrates; and the wise Seneca gives the following reason for what J just now quoted from him:—though you are not permitted, says he, to speak now, yet you may do it afterwards, but when you have once spoken, it is not then in your power to recall it, according to the common saying, “words are irrevocable.” St. Jerom compares a word when once uttered, to a stone cast out of a man’s hand, which being once thrown, he cannot hinder from doing all the mischief it is capable of doing, and therefore’ he advises us to be very wary, and consider seriously before we speak; because afterwards it will be too late to do 80. Thjs-advice attaches to the first circumstance we spoke of in the beginning. |

Let us therefore resolve ta stand upon 1 our. BE. and be watchful over our tongue, with the royal prophet, who said, “J am now determined to take care of my ways, that I may not offend with my tongue.’’ (Psalms 38:1) St. Ambrose, commenting upon these words, says; there are some ways which we may follow safely, ‘and others in which we ought to be very wary and cautious. The first are the ways of God, the others are our own. Those are secure, these lead to destruction, and cause us quickly to lose ourselves, unless silence be our guide and safeguard. When St. Pambo first retired into the wilderness, his ignorance of that way of living obliged him to ask help and instruction of an old experienced hermit, who had lived there for a long time. The good old man received him very kindly, and out of a charitable condescension to his request, began his instructions from those words of the prophet I before cited; ‘1 am resolved to take heed of my ways, lest I should offend with my tongue.” Here St. Pambo interrupted him, telling him that this one point was sufficient for the present, could he but well comply with its practice. Six months after, the old hermit meeting him, gave him a check for his not coming all that time to take another lesson; to whom he replied, Father, permit me to confess the truth, and to assure you that I am not as yet perfect in the first you taught me. Many years after, some others asked him whether he had as yet learned his lesson? He returned this answer—lIt is now five-and-forty years since I first heard it, yet I still find very great difficulty in its practice. But it was humility that forced him to this modest confession; for Palladius assures us that he had got this lesson so well, and practised it so diligently, that he always raised his thoughts to God, and consulted him about what he was to say, before he would either speak, or make answer to any one. Which laudible custom drew s0 many graces from heaven upon him, and preserved him in that innocency, that being upon his death-bed, he owned, that he could not call to mind any one word of his whole life which he now repented to have spoken. Surius in his history tells us of a holy virgin, who lived in such rigid and continual silence, from the exaltation of the holy cross till Christmas, that in all that time she did not speak one word. And Almighty God was so pleased with this her mortification, that he vouchsafed to assure her by a revelation, that at her death, she should in recompense thereof, go straight to heaven without passing through purgatory.

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