Part IV, Chapter IV

Two Good Examples on This Subject

As it is so important that you should understand this matter perfectly, I will explain it more at large. A young man, as St. Jerome relates, being fastened down with bands of silk on a delicate, soft bed, was enticed by all sorts of filthy allurements by a lascivious woman, who was employed by the persecutors on purpose to stagger his constancy. Ah, must not his chaste soul have felt strange disorders? Must not his senses have been seized with delectation, and his imagination occupied by the presence of those voluptuous objects? Undoubtedly; yet among so many conflicts, in the midst of so terrible a storm of temptations, and the many lustful pleasures that surrounded him, he sufficiently testified that his heart was not vanquished, and that his will gave no consent. Perceiving so general a rebellion against his will, and having now no part of his body at command but his tongue, he bit it off and spit it in the face of that filthy woman, who tormented his soul more cruelly by her lust than all the executioners could ever have done by the greatest torments; for the tyrant, despairing to conquer him by suffering, thought to overcome him by these pleasures.

The history of the conflict of St. Catharine of Sienna, on the like occasion, is very admirable. The wicked spirit had permission from God to assault the purity of this holy virgin with the greatest fury, yet so as not to be allowed to touch her. He presented, then, all kinds of impure suggestions to her heart; and, to move her the more, coming with his companions in form of men and women, he committed a thousand acts immodest in her presence, adding most filthy words and invitations; and, although all these things were exterior, nevertheless, by means of the senses, they penetrated deep into the heart of the virgin, which, as she herself confessed, was even brimful of them; so that nothing remained in her except the pure, superior will, which was not shaken with this tempest of filthy carnal delectation. This temptation continued for a long time, till one day our Saviour, appearing to her, she said to him: “Where wert thou, my sweet Saviour, when my heart was full of so great darkness and uncleanness?” To which he answered: “I was within thy heart, my daughter.” — “But how,” replied she, “could you dwell in my heart, where there was so much impurity? Is it possible that thou couldst dwell in so unclean a place?” To which our Lord replied: “Tell me, did these filthy thoughts of thy heart give thee pleasure or sadness, bitterness or delight?” — “The most extreme bitterness and sadness,” said she. “Who was it, then,” replied our Saviour, “that caused this great bitterness and sadness in thy heart but I, who remained concealed in the interior of thy soul? Believe me, daughter, had it not been for my presence these thoughts which surrounded thy will would have doubtless entered in, and with pleasure would have brought death to thy soul; but, being present, I infused this displeasure into thy heart, which enabled thee to reject the temptation as much as it could; but, not being able to do it as much as it desired, it conceived a greater displeasure and hatred both against the temptation and thyself; and thus these troubles have proved occasions of great merit to thee, and have served to increase thy strength and virtue.”

Behold, Philothea, how this fire was covered with ashes, and how the temptation had even entered the heart, and surrounded the will which, assisted by our Saviour, held out to the last, making resistance by her aversion, displeasure, and detestation of the evil suggested, and constantly refusing her consent to the sin which besieged her on every side. Good God! how distressing must it be to a soul that loves God not to know whether he be within her or not, or whether the divine love, for which she fights, be altogether extinguished in her or not! But it is the perfection of heavenly love to make the lover suffer and fight for love, not knowing whether he possesses that love for which, and by which, he fights.

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