Part III, Chapter XXX

Other Advices with Respect to Conversation

Let your language be meek, open, and sincere, without the least mixture of equivocations, artifice, or dissimulation; for although it may not be always advisable to say all that is true, yet it is never allowable to speak against the truth. Accustom yourself, therefore, never to tell a deliberate lie, either by way of excuse or otherwise; remembering always that God is the God of truth. Should you tell a lie inadvertently, fail not to correct it upon the spot by some explanation or reparation; an honest excuse has always more grace and force to bear one harmless than a lie.

Though one may sometimes prudently disguise the truth by some equivocation, yet it must never be done but when the glory and service of God manifestly require it; in any other case, such artifices are dangerous. The Holy Spirit dwells not in a deceitful soul. (Wisdom 1) No artifice is so good and desirable as plain-dealing: worldly prudence and artifice belong to the children of the world; but the children of God walk uprightly, and their heart is without guile. “He that walketh sincerely,” says the wise man (Proverbs 10:9), “walketh confidently.” Lying, double-dealing, and dissimulation, are always signs of a weak and mean spirit. St. Austin had said, in the fourth book of his Confessions, that his soul and that of his friend were but one soul; and that he had a horror for his life after the death of his friend, because he was not willing to live by halves; and yet that for the same reason he was unwilling to die, lest his friend should die wholly. These words seemed to him afterwards so artful and affected, that he recalled them, and censured them in his book of Retractations. Observe, Philothea, the exactness of this holy soul with respect to the least artifice in his words. Fidelity, plainness, and sincerity of speech are the greatest ornaments of a Christian life; “I will take heed,” says holy David, “to my ways, that I may not sin with my tongue. Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth, and a door round about my lips.” It was the advice of St. Lewis, in order to avoid contention, not to contradict any one in discourse, unless it were either sinful, or very prejudicial to acquiesce to him. But should it be necessary to contradict any one, or oppose our own opinion to his, we must do it with much mildness and dexterity, so as not to irritate his temper; for nothing is ever gained by harshness and violence.

To speak little, a practice so much recommended by all wise men, does not consist in uttering few words, but in uttering none that are unprofitable; for in point of speaking one is not to regard the quantity so much as the quality of the words; but in my opinion we ought to avoid both extremes. For to be too reserved, and refuse to join in conversation, looks like disdain, or a want of confidence; and, on the other hand, to be always talking, so as to afford neither leisure nor opportunity to others to speak when they wish, is a mark of shallowness and levity.

St. Lewis condemned whispering in company, and particularly at table, lest it should give others occasion to suspect that some evil was spoken of them. “He that is at table,” said he, “in good company, and has something to say that is merry and pleasant, should mention it so that all the company may hear him; but if it be a thing of importance, let him reserve it for a more suitable occasion.”

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