Part III, Chapter XXVII

Of Modesty in Our Words, and the Respect We Owe to Persons

“If any offend not in words,” says St. James, “he is a perfect man.” (James 3:2) Be careful never to permit an indecent word to escape from your lips; for, although you do not speak it with an ill intention, yet it may be hurtful to those that hear it. An evil word falling into a weak heart spreads itself like a drop of oil falling on linen; nay, it sometimes seizes on the heart in such a manner as to fill it with a thousand unclean thoughts and temptations to lust; for, as the poison of the body enters by the mouth, so the poison of the heart enters by the ear, and the tongue which utters an indecent word is a murderer. For, although perhaps the poison, which it has cast forth, has not produced its effect, because it found the hearts of the hearers guarded by some preservative, yet there wanted no malice in the tongue to occasion their death. Let no man, therefore, tell me that he has no evil intention; for our Lord, the Searcher of hearts, has said, “That out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh.” But if we intend no evil on such occasions, yet the enemy, who is of a contrary opinion, secretly uses immodest words to pierce the heart of some one. As they that have eaten the herb angelica have always a sweet and agreeable breath, so they that have honesty and chastity, which is an angelical virtue, in their hearts, have their words always modest and chaste. As for indecent and obscene things the apostle will not have them even named amongst us; assuring us, “that nothing so much corrupteth good manners as wicked discourse.”

When immodest words are disguised with affectation and subtility, then they become infinitely more poisonous; for, the more pointed the dart is, the more easily it enters our bodies; so, also, the more pointed an obscene word is, the more deeply does it penetrate the heart; and if they who esteem themselves men of gallantry for speaking such words were convinced that in conversation they should be like a swarm of bees, convened together to collect honey from some sweet and virtuous entertainment, they certainly would not thus imitate a nest of wasps, assembled together to suck corruption. If some impudent person should address you in a lascivious manner, convince him that your ears are offended, either by turning yourself immediately away, or by such other mark of resentment as your discretion may direct.

To become a scoffer is one of the worst qualities of a wit. God, who detests this vice, has heretofore inflicted remarkable punishments on its perpetrators. Nothing is so opposite to charity or devotion as despising and contemning our neighbor. As derision and mockery is never without scoffing, therefore divines consider it is one of the worst offences of which a man can be guilty against his neighbor, by words; for other offences may be committed with some esteem of the party offended, but by this he is treated with scorn and contempt.

As for certain good-humored jesting words, spoken by way of modest and innocent mirth, they belong to the virtue called Eutrapelia by the Greeks, which we may denominate good conversation; and by these we take an honest and friendly recreation from those frivolous occasions with which human imperfections furnish us. We must be careful, however, not to pass from honest mirth to scoffing; for scoffing excites laughter in the way of scorn and contempt of our neighbor; whereas innocent mirth and drollery cause laughter by an unoffending liberty, confidence, and familiar freedom, joined to the sprightly wit of some ingenious conceit. St. Lewis, when the religious offered to speak to him, after dinner, of high and sublime matters, told them: “It is not now a time to allege texts, but to recreate ourselves with some cheerful conceits; let every man say whatever innocent thing comes to his mind;” this he said when any of the nobility were present, to receive marks of kindness from his majesty. But let us remember, Philothea, to pass our time of recreation in such a manner that we may never lose sight of the greatest of all concerns, Eternity.

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