Book III, Chapter VIII

Of the Mean Esteem of One’s Self in the Sight of God

1. I will speak to my Lord, I that am hut dust and ashes. (Genesis 18) If I think any thing better of myself, behold, thou standest against me; and my sins bear witness to the truth, and I cannot contradict it. But if I vilify myself, and acknowledge my own nothingness, and cast away all manner of esteem of myself; and, as I really am, account myself to be mere dust, thy grace will be favorable to me, and thy light will draw nigh to my heart, and all self-esteem, how small soever, will be sunk in the depth of my own nothingness, and there lose itself forever. It is there thou showest me to myself, what I am, what I have been, and what I am to come to; for I am nothing, and 1 knew it not. If I am left to myself.

behold, I am nothing, and all weakness; but if thou suddenly look upon me, I presently become strong, and am filled with a new joy. And it is very wonderful that I am so quickly raised up, and so graciously embraced by thee; I, who by my own weight am always sinking to the bottom.

2. It is thy love that effects this, freely preventing me and assisting me in so many necessities; preserving me also from grievous dangers; and, as I may truly say, delivering me from innumerable evils. For by an evil loving of myself, I lost myself; and by seeking thee, alone, and purely loving thee,

I found both myself and thee, and by this love have more profoundly annihilated myself. Because thou, O most sweet Lord, dost deal with me above all desert, and above all that I dare hope or ask for.

3. Blessed be thou, O my God; for though I am unworthy of all good, yet thy generosity and infinite goodness never cease to do good even to those that are ungrateful, and that are turned * away from thee. O convert us to thee.

that we may be thankful, humble, and devout; for thou art our salvation, our power, and our strength.

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